We live in a culture that believes pleasure is the primary, and often times only, purpose for sex. Chapters 4 and 5 of Mere Sexuality: Rediscovering the Christian Vision of Sexuality by Todd A. Wilson say that the Bible teaches otherwise. You might roll your eyes at “the Bible” teaching you about what you should or shouldn’t do sexually. Before you make this judgment, pause and ask if our culture’s “do what pleases you” mindset for sex has created fruitful outcomes for individuals, children, and culture at large or not.
Noah catches up with Jason Redoutey on how encountering the affirming love of God satisfied Jason’s lifelong quest for approval and affirmation. A quest that led him to a double life of porn, lies, womanizing, and cheating in his marriage. Shame was once the ruler in Jason’s life, shame that has been replaced by love and grace, found through vulnerability. Jason now helps other men find this same overwhelming love of God as one of the directors of Hearts, Alive, and Free.
Wilson and I are both heterosexual, married men who love Scripture, pastor churches, and love people. So there is a compassionate ache for those who struggle with gender identity or with same sex attraction, but also the conviction that Scripture is the inspired and authoritative word of God and you can’t pick and choose the parts you like and don’t like.
“My dad told me it’s okay to look, as long as you don’t touch,” a large, well-past-puberty 8th grader once told me with a smile.
This boy’s father passed on to him the idea that objectification doesn’t hurt anyone. This is a lie. It’s a lie the father had bought into and has now passed on to his son. It’s a lie from culture that many of us have bought into as well.
One could argue that it’s better to look and not touch than it is to give unwanted touches, which is obviously true. This is probably what this father was trying to teach his son. But the fact that unwanted touches bring great harm does not mean that “looking without touching” is a victimless crime, as this dad had led his son to believe.
Noah’s sermon from 12.30.18 “Beyond the Sexual Purity Battle” includes his testimony as well as a walk through 1 Corinthians 6:12-20.
I had a great time on the Undone Redone Podcast with Tray and Mel Lovvorn. Check out Undone Redone for tons of great grace-centered resources to bring wholeness to your marriage and/or sexual brokenness.