God designed sex to be a one-flesh relationship; He tells us this in Genesis 2:24 and 1 Corinthians 6:15-16. But what does one-flesh mean, and how does this differ from the type of sex the world offers us? I preached on this subject this past Sunday.
God’s one-flesh recipe for sex is that all of one person gets combined with all of another. Just like a cake recipe, needs flour, milk, eggs, as well as sugar to make it work, sex needs the supporting ingredients of commitment, trust, vulnerability and selflessness–things only found in marriage. Commitment, trust and selflessness are tedious and often dull and boring. Who wants to mess with those things when you can go straight to the sugar? This is essentially what our culture has done with sex, as we are taught to skip the hassle and go straight to the body parts. It’s no wonder it sells so easily, but also no wonder that it leaves people so dissatisfied and hurt.
What we find is that God’s design changes everything about the way he have been taught to think about sex. Our mindset goes from that of selfishly consuming another person, to selflessly giving of ourselves for another. From seeing people as objects to be consumed and enjoyed for my pleasure to people that I am to show the dignity, love and compassion that God has first shown me, and called me to show others. It goes from a one-time act of pleasure, like taking a bite of an apple (and then discarding it), to a broad and long range view of growing an apple orchard–something tedious and difficult, but infinitely rewarding.
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Author of Beyond the Battle: A man's guide to his identity in Christ in an oversexualized world
Host of the The Flip Side Podcast
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Wow, this is really good, Noah! Thanks for your insights, and keep up the good work!